Human Pursuits
by ficlit
Summary: True machines don’t care about vengeance,” she scoffed. “But then again a true machine wouldn't frak his mother while wearing the face of her father either. Guess your something else, John.” A fic featuring Cavil and Ellen.


**Summary:** A conversation between Cavil and Ellen.

**Characters:**John Cavil and Ellen Tigh

**Rating:** M (discussion of sex)

**Disclaimer:**I don't own Battlestar Galactica and I'm not making any money from this.

**Authors Notes:** I wanted to see more interaction between Cavil and the Final Five (especially Ellen). I think that the most interesting conversations between these two would take place when they are alone.

* * *

Human Pursuits

As Boomer took the tray of food outside, Cavil leaned back in his chair and watched Ellen. She stood on the other side of the chamber, her eyes transfixed on the data patters cascading down the wall. He watched and contemplated whether he really wanted to start this conversation and why. He wanted to talk to her about New Caprica but she wouldn't mention it. He felt inexplicably compelled to do so.

"So, are you determined to ignore what happened on New Caprica," Cavil said. He saw the tension ripple through her shoulder blades and felt a current of pleasure run through him at her discomfort. But her words took it away.

"I knew you would want to bring it up sooner or later," Ellen said clearly, still not turning to him. "Do you even know why you did it? Frakked me?"

She was beautiful woman and down there at least he was aroused by her but here it was different. He felt no sexual attraction, no lust just contempt. No, he didn't know his motivation for their liaison. But he'd die before he let her know that.

"I just wanted a taste of what you seemed to be giving away to everyone for free," he sneered. "After all you've always encouraged me to look for more... human pursuits."

"Ah, but John I was referring more to compassion and creativity, not blackmail and torture," she said, finally turning to him.

"See what happens when you're not specific?" he chuckled. Cavil gestured for her to sit down and she complied. As she shifted position in her chair her skirt rose a little. He only noted it to the extent that it no longer seemed to evoke anything in him.

"Anyway, you're evading the point. Why did you do it? Why did you condescend to rut around with me like the humans you disdain." He didn't answer immediately but merely shifted in his seat and she smiled. It wasn't a pleasant one. "I can only imagine there was some thing more to it than the sex."

_Why, indeed_, thought Cavil. After boxing Ellen and downloading her with false memories, he planted her on Picon. She was living a life light-years away from Saul on Caprica. But somewhere along the way they had reunited and even married.

Cavil had intended she spend her mortal life away from her love but still they had somehow managed to meet across the light-years. It was quite frustrating.

He remembered walking out among the tents a few days after the New Caprica takeover. There was an impromptu demonstration against the occupation starting. As Cavil looked over the crowd he saw Ellen and Saul arm and arm, listening. It had made him angry.

But in a way it all worked out in the end because the Final Five all ended up on New Caprica, under his control. When he ordered Saul's arrest he knew sooner or later that she would have to come to him.

* * *

"_You must be Mrs. Tigh. Please come in," said Cavil. He guided Ellen in to his office and she sat in one of the cushioned chairs in front of his desk. When he seated himself he did not speak but merely looked at her fidget in the disarming silence._

_When she gathered that he was waiting for her to speak, she said "They told me you were the one that I needed to talk to about my husband." The way he was smiling pleasantly at her was strange. As if this was some kind of bureaucratic glitch._

"_Oh really?" He said, relishing her unease. "Who?"_

"_Excuse me?" she asked confusedly._

"_Who told you to talk to me?"_

"_Um, one of the...," she gestured helplessly. "One of the Sharons?"_

"_Which one?"_

"_The one at the desk...I'm not sure..."_

"_Oh," he leaned forward a flash of anger apparent in his voice. "So you're saying we all look alike. Can't tell one toaster from another?"_

"_No, I didn't mean that." She looked afraid now. _Good,_ he thought. "It's just--"_

"_It's okay. We do all look alike." He smiled again, throwing her off balance. "At least according to your eyes. So, what can _this_ Cavil do for you."_

"_Like I said, I wanted to talk to you about my husband."_

_And at first all they did was talk. He offered her tea and they drank it on the couch. She placed her hand on his knee while earnestly trying to plead Saul's case. Cavil feigned a slight interest while taking pleasure in the fact of his indifference to her. Then something happened. He found that he enjoyed seeing her there like this, begging. It stirred something in him._

_He'd never had sex before. After, Cavil told himself that he was using it as a tool. Like mother like son. Oh, he derived some pleasure from it, but it was less what her body was doing to him physically than the look on her face. Not so much pain as...sorrow?_

* * *

Cavil slowly stood up. He changed his mind. There was no need to explain himself to this woman.

Ellen merely adjusted herself on the bench and reached for a grape in the bowl set beside her. "Are you happy now, John? You finally get to see your pound of flesh come to fruition."

"I think you vastly overestimate your importance in the grand scheme of things."

"Oh that's right because this isn't about vengeance. True machines don't care about vengeance," she scoffed as she deposited the grape in her mouth. "But then again a true machine wouldn't frak his mother while wearing the face of her father either. Guess your something else, John."

Cavil turned to glare at her. "Stop it. That's not my name."

She ignored him. "You knew that the map you had me steal for you would trace back to me, that the resistance would kill me. You wanted me here first because it's me you hate the most."

"You were the first to betray me. Then you turned the others against me."

Ellen leapt off the bench. "You killed your own brother! You poisoned--"

"Yes!" he screamed. "Yes I did. Because he was the shape of things to come. He was the end result of what you were trying to do to us. You were turning us into simpering pathetic copies of humans!"

At this Ellen just closed her eyes and let her head fall forward a bit. Her blonde curls shook and he knew she was crying. This vision of her touched a memory in Cavil. This was how she looked when she cried over Daniel.

"You just don't get it," she raised her gaze to him again. "For all your lusting after supernovae and solar winds you forget the fact that it's not just about being able to see and experience life and this universe. It's about the meaning we give it. It's about earning it and making it better. Daniel could have appreciated those things as well despite a limited capacity to perceive them. What's more he could have brought them to life in different ways for other people to see. That's art. He could have he could have given them meaning for others. That's creation."

"It's good to finally hear you admit what's been obvious all along." His eyes narrowed slightly. "As long as I knelt to you doctrine of mercy at the expense of justice, I would be loved. But the moment I began to question...then I learned the limits of your love."

She squared her shoulders and began to step slowly towards him. "What you don't want to realize is that what happened on New Caprica had nothing to do with the resistance or Saul. It didn't even have anything to do with some grand philosophical debate. You just wanted to see me brought low, to crawl before you. To beg, to betray and cut myself off from everyone I love just to bend to your will. You found a taste for it with me on New Caprica. I didn't realize that you've found a new pet to play with."

He gave her a puzzled glance. "What are you talking about?"

Ellen looked towards the door as if Boomer might actually be listening from outside. "Come on, John. For a self-aware machine you can be amazingly obtuse. I'm talking about Boomer." Cavil scoffed but she pressed on.

"It delights you that she went against her model, that she is tearing herself in two. Because that is what you are about deep down. Beneath the pious atheism, the physical abuse, what you really love is true emotional pain. And that is why you will never get what you want, why you will never be a 'perfect' machine."

"No! I'll never be a 'perfect' machine because the choice has been taken out of our hands. Just like it always was." John stalked right up to Ellen with such hatred in his eyes that for the first time she was truly afraid. "I know what you did to limit us. You made our software incompatible with the Centurions and the Raiders. It's incompatible with any non-organic silicate neural pathways. You expect me to believe that you did it because of some grand experiment in love. You just wanted a firewall to keep us in these bodies. I mean God forbid any of your children decide to take their own destiny in their hands, right?"

"We had seen what happened with the Centurions on Earth and the Colonies," Ellen pleaded. "We didn't want—"

"What? Didn't want history to repeat itself? Well then you should have chosen better because that's exactly what I've decided to give you. And that's why you're here. Because I wanted you to know for every second until this ends that your choices brought us here."

"You know it's funny. If God is vengeful and we are made in his image then this shouldn't be a surprise." Cavil began pacing uncontrollably in front of her. "You were my first betrayer, Ellen and it's fitting that you be here first to see what you've wrought. Humanity will end with the current generation. And we will find perfection. You may have set up blocks stop us from fulfilling ourselves but they will not be permanent."

"And me?" she asked. "Will I be seeing an airlock any time soon?"

"Oh no. You won't be touched. You who were so eager to create life and then cripple it in its cradle; you get to see your children evolve to their true purpose."

"Oh John," Ellen whispered. She sank down to the bench and gazed up into eyes that were filled with hatred. "What happened to you? Where's the boy I loved so?"

"Where is that boy?" John Cavil asked suddenly without emotion. "You killed him. He suffocated when you condemned him to this cage of putrid flesh. And you know what? He died happily because he knew that I would free and avenge him."

"Make yourself comfortable, Ellen." Cavil said as he walked past her towards the door. "This is the beginning of the end. The end of you, the Final Five, and the whole of humanity."

Ellen watched the door shut behind him and wept for both of her lost sons.


End file.
